that star fell
in my lap
and I jumped
from fright
it burned my skin
freckling my thighs
and my rounding belly
forever to remind me
that I wished
for, but didn’t really
want it, and seeking out
what others have
does not bring
happiness
that is found
by looking inward
finding the broken parts
and reassembling them into
a new, more content you
who smiles big
and laughs
with joy
clouds fall into my heart
fogged and heavy, I am here
seeing with these eyes that are
not eyes, hearing you clambering
up this mountain that is me, I’ll not be
happy when you’ve summit-ed,
but when you’ve planted
lilies and amaryllis,
death and love
flowering
in me,
winds catch
my breath slows,
an avalanche rumbles
sometimes
I don’t
even
know
which
way
is up
step inside
illusion fades
beyond my curtain
your mind will become
what it is when you aren’t
so busy becoming
.
your heart will reach
that which it has never
known, and your eyes
will never forgive
for having not
seen this before
.
Come inside!
.
and wander the hidden
halls of imagination, waiting
for your eyes to close
dipped in cello(phane)
tied up, in butcher paper
I carried it to work
and at quarter past eleven
I rose, and carried this package,
(not fish, today is Friday), and climbed
the stairs one by one, under my feet
slowly, the floor kissing my toes
and (on the roof), I sang
birds came, then left
sad that my voice spilled (out)
of these lips with no feathers
.
where no feathers ever would be
save the ortolan (small and bony)
my shame, my ecstasy
hidden from god,
concealed from you,
by a (dirty) napkin
and an old mirror
to see myself
.
a small, round one
its front freckled with clear glass
where tiny claws had scratched
(away) the reflective metals
before my lips closed,
before my teeth chewed
I dared not to open my eyes
to see this person that (I) had
become <scratched and bloodied>
with greed in my eyes and this tongue
clicking, for more tiny birds
.
instead
I swallowed
the mirror, whole
sticking in my throat
holding that bird inside
just to shine a light, on you
whenever I open my mouth to speak
June Flowers
-
the metronome
in my head
is off, it fell once
from my heart
and landed
in my hat
it keeps me
up at night
reminding me
that my dreams
are out of time
My Shoes - by Charles Simic
.
Shoes, secret face of my inner life:
Two gaping toothless mouths,
Two partly decomposed animal skins
Smelling of mice-nests.
.
My brother and sister who died at birth
Continuing their existence in you,
Guiding my life
Toward their incomprehensible innocence.
.
What use are books to me
When in you it is possible to read
The Gospel of my life on earth
And still beyond, of things to come?
.
I want to proclaim the religion
I have devised for your perfect humility
And the strange church I am building
With you as the altar.
.
Ascetic and maternal, you endure:
Kin to oxen, to Saints, to condemned men,
With your mute patience, forming
The only true likeness of myself
I dance, they become
still, the pavement is hot
my feet burn, and they cry
when it is cold outside
and my blankets
are too small
they pile their hearts
upon me, to keep the cold away
in the Spring, when cherries
blossom, I will share
my second hand
and their days last forever
left and right
become upside down,
rivers ice over and icebergs
slip quickly, into these dress
pockets, my change
now rusted
.
I’d only had
enough for bee-r
and choco-late, but now
I’m stuck with dead bees
and it being too late
.
my knees have drowned and
this dress floats in hot acid seas
.
living rooms
and bedrooms, now
become tide pools, filled
with take-out-bag-jellyfish
oysters birthing plastic
pearls and sea stars
choke on cocktail
straws
joy is that which bursts my heart
wringing from it each moment
of glee that the universe
has delivered to me
.
sorrow is its shadow
in the dark times it sees
my light and distills it down
into a storm of tears and sadness
.
quiet and chaos
living as one
their backs tied
fast together
.
memory screams
in the lull of nighttime
patching this quilt of squares
each one a moment I’ll remember
.
forget is just my heart and head’s
bloodless pact to dull the ache
that seeds my bones deeply
with grief and despair
.
unto this I surrender
the ocean
slips its fingers
inside me
its wetness
seeking this cage
surrounding my lungs
rib bones, awash
in salt water
give way
and my breath falls
in tune with the tides